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Chariot Ride

from SpinTunes 16 by Micah Sommersmith

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Based on the Iliad, by Homer.

lyrics

You say that I should take it on the chin
You say it with that stool-consuming grin
But the heel is the chin of the foot, and pride was always my Achilles heel
So if I take it on the chin, that’s a blow to my pride, and you know how that feels
You know the feeling’s real

The tendency of tendons is to snap
Your basic tendon basically is crap
As for Achilles, his Achilles heel was never in his foot, but in Patroclus’ eyes
And in the way Patroclus laughed, and in the passion that he put between Patroclus’ thighs
He loved Patroclus, guys

So when Patroclus dies, it’s no surprise, Achilles cursed the frozen skies
Then vanished to his tent to nurse his broken pride alone inside
Emerging the next morning with a brand-new taste for genocide
Sweeping men aside on his vector towards revenge sweet as nectar upon Ilium’s protector
And poor Hector took a very very bumpy
Chariot ride

You say don’t let it get under your skin
You say it in a voice as smooth as sin
But it’s winter in Wisconsin and the air has torn my flesh into a thousand shards
And if some Achaean soldiers want to slip a wooden horse among my inner parts
You know it isn’t hard

King Priam didn’t ask for this at all
But he took it on the chin and took the fall
If you don’t want your monuments destroyed and your temples burned to ashes
Don’t let your little scumbag of a son judge celestial beauty pageants
Don’t take your chances

How many million men have died for honor and for stupid pride
But ultimately all because the gods decided they should try
To throw a little party and keep Sister Chaos locked outside
She always finds a way in - with an apple, with an insult, with an offer that you can’t refuse, etc.
And all of us get taken for a bumpy chariot ride

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from SpinTunes 16, released January 31, 2020

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Micah Sommersmith Wisconsin

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