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Hurricanes

by Micah Sommersmith

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1.
2.
General Sherman's three hundred feet tall General Sherman's two thousand years old General Sherman will be here long after I'm gone General Sherman's got my vote He and I are in the same boat What's good for General Sherman is good for me. General Sherman's lost an arm General Sherman's come to no harm Something like that won't bring the old guy down General Sherman misses his friends General Sherman prepares for the end But you won't find General Sherman wearing a frown. General Sherman's a billion feet tall General Sherman's a trillion years old General Sherman is looking out for us all General Sherman needs your vote, because we're all in the same boat What's good for General Sherman is good for you.
3.
You were always better with names than with faces, weren't you. It's more often on the tip of the tongue than in the corner of your eye. And I know that you've been to some crazy places, haven't you. And every time you come home you can't help but sigh. But I've caught on, your cover's blown, your shields are down and you're on your own. But that's all right. You would always rather be there than here, now wouldn't you. Somewhere else is a marvelous place to be. And you always thought you had nothing to fear, now didn't you. But you never guessed just how much I could see. Well now that I've caught on, your mind is blown, you're protection's gone and you're all alone. But that's all right.
4.
When life was pain, I was insane 'Cause there was something in my brain. When life was pain, I was insane; I'd stand there screaming in the rain. When I was born, I was so forlorn, I started blowing on my horn. When I was young, I had so much fun, I started killing everyone. The doctors said that I should be dead, There's something messed up in my head. But I'm hanging on and I wrote this song So I could prove those doctors wrong. Well I'm still here, but my biggest fear Is that the headsman will appear, So I'm packing heat, and when I'm on the street I'm safe from everyone I meet. When I'm insane I drink champagne, And man it always leaves a stain. But that's all right, I'm satisfied, 'Cause the whole world is on my side.
5.
Jessica 02:51
Jessica, Who do you think you are, getting tangled up in my heart? Jessica, What gives you the right to keep me up at night? Jessica, What do I have to do to prove my love for you? Jessica, What do I have to say that I haven't said every day? Jessica, What is it going to take for this poor heart to break? Jessica, With the way things go, it looks like soon we'll know. Jessica, Jessica. Jessica, Jessica.
6.
Blink - What time is it? I don't know My clock or my brain stopped working Blink - It's too late to change anything It's too late to be anything Wasting your life can be so exhausting You'll wonder where your energy went Nothing to show for all your hard work and The least you could call it was time well spent And you know in the morning the sun will come up again And you know when your alarm rings it's the Same old brand new day Living a lie can be so depressing Living the truth is depressinger still Look all around you and look all inside you Under the weather and over the hill And the days roll by and the days roll by And the days they just keep rolling by And the pages turn and the furniture burns And you never stop to wonder 'bout why It's like that movie they made with Bill Murray Where everything happens again and again Maybe the leaves turn, the snow falls, the wind blows, But it's looking to be all the same in the end And the kids grow up and the dog dies And your wife goes and has an affair And they tear down that playground you loved as a child And you can't find it in you to care But when tomorrow comes tumbling over the mountain And yesterday gives you a smack on the head That's when you realize th'ole time bomb is ticking You'd better do something before you get dead So you get up, put some clothes on And you march right out your front door And you look at all the big wide world And ... you know what? This isn't worth it. Just... go back inside... mumble mumble...
7.
I can tell that you're new to this part of the country Perhaps I can offer some words of advice The people may smile and they might shake your hand here But under the surface they're not so nice Don't wear that hat in this town You're just asking to get burned down Don't wear that hat in this town You might as well put up a sign That says I don't belong and I never will In this town you know we're all kind to our neighbors If someone needs something someone's always there-o But you'll find if you stick around long enough in this town Our definition of neighbor is decidedly narrow Don't do that dance in this town You're just begging to get cut down, shut down Don't do that dance in this town You might as well put up a sign That says I don't belong and I never will Don't wear that hat in this town Don't tell that joke in this town Don't do that dance in this town You might as well put up a sign I said you might as well put up a sign.
8.
When I read your letter to the editor I could feel my blood boil and my stomach churn. I had heard there were people out there like you but I never knew for sure Until I read your letter to the editor When I met you in person I was rather impressed You were so well-spoken, you were so well-dressed And what was lurking underneath, I never would have guessed Except I read your letter to the editor. You should be in a movie, I could sing this song. They would think you're the good guy, but not for long. Because there's a twist in the end, and all of their theories were wrong. You should be in a movie, I could sing this song. You could have your own talk show, I'd call in every day. We'd be two people screaming with nothing to say, And we would not change anything but that would be okay. You should have your own talk show; I think you'd be great. You should move to Jamaica, you should meet a girl, You should procure some explosives, you should conquer the world, You should march across the ocean with your banner unfurled. You should move to Jamaica, you should conquer the world.
9.
When we fell in love, you fell like a brick And me, I fell more like a feather Shouldn't have surprised you when you woke up one morning And found I'd become untethered The love was gone, so I moved along No need to get so excited Both of us knew from the start that it wouldn't last Or at least I did Your mother consoled you, your father did scold you But in both their minds was the same thing "We knew all along that you two were all wrong But you stuck with him - What were you thinking?" Well now that I'm gone hopefully you can get on With whatever it was you were doing You'll realize in time winning this heart of mine Was a goal that was not worth pursuing No doubt in my mind, some day you will find Somebody good enough for you Till then let it be known, though it may not have shown, That I never did abhor you. And remember this, child, as the years roll by And I'm still floating on like that feather You're better off now with me miles out of town Than ever when we were together.
10.
I've seen her watching you And I've seen you watching her too Though I've never seen you watch each other at the Same time I would kill to have your chances At successful romances But you're killing me each time you sit there as she Walks by It's not like she would ever fall for me But come on man you've got everything going for you I know that you can afford to pick and choose But come on man she's got everything you could want I sit here in my tiny room and think about some other things You sit there in your tiny room and think about some other things She sits there in her tiny room and think about some other things We sit here in our tiny rooms and wonder what the others are thinking It's not like she would ever fall for me But come on man you've got everything going for you I know that you can afford to pick and choose But come on man she's got everything you could want
11.
Nixon 02:29
Nixon, I don't know you anymore Nixon, who's this man you've become Nixon, where's the life you used to lead Nixon, and all the mouths you used to feed Nixon's fixing up his tricks and Breaking down doors and throwing bricks and Nixon's risking all our dicks and None of that means a thing to Nixon Nixon, you were once my favorite guy Nixon, I had held you up so high Nixon, why'd you have to make me cry Nixon, was it all a dirty lie Nixon's mixing up his Crossing wires and lighting wicks and I will cross the river Styx and Pay my kind respects to Nixon Nixon, you have torn my heart in half Nixon, as you just sit there and laugh Nixon, is the world your fattened calf Nixon, I must admit it's quite a craft
12.
The Interurban don't run through here no more You gotta drive anywhere you want to go The Interurban don't run through here no more Nobody picks up hitchhikers anymore You're gonna walk anywhere you try to go Nobody picks up hitchhikers anymore The Interurban don't run through here no more You gotta drive anywhere you want to go The Interurban don't run through here no more
13.
What possible use could anyone have With a box of hair? Will it be there for you when times get tough Will it even care? When you're all alone And you've unplugged the phone And the night is creeping in It will only serve To remind you of All the things that might have been What possible joy could anyone find In a diamond ring? Just a hunk of stone off a dinosaur bone It's a cold and heartless thing But if you had one well You sure as hell Wouldn't be sitting here like a fool You would travel the world You would sell your soul To find somebody to give it to
14.
The Widow 01:45
For the first time in 50 years, I've had to wake up alone. And this ain't no business trip, I mean alone alone alone. He's gone and I can't move on, and I don't think I would if I could. No it hasn't sunk in yet, and I doubt it ever will. And now science has taken his body, and Jesus has taken his soul, And all that's left where this old man was Is just a giant gaping emptiness that will never again be full. What do I do when my reason for life is gone? What do I do when I'm expected to carry on? What do I do? What do I do?
15.
Hey Man 01:43
Hey man, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now. Hey man, you're a good friend, I thought that you might understand. But if you don't want to hang out anymore, I guess that's cool. Hey man, I know where your parents stand. I don't want to freak you out, I'm not gonna try anything. I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore. I hope things can be the same, I don't want an awkward situation. I just want some friendship - isn't that what friends are for?
16.
When I'm dead They won't remember my name I'll be that guy who wrote that song that everybody though was clever When I'm dead I'll be the man who could have moved the world If only they had given me the proper sort of lever Half of them will toast my memory And half will heap some curses on my head And there'll be laughing, there'll be screaming, There'll be talking, there'll be dreaming, But there won't be any crying when I'm dead When I'm dead Shoot my ashes into space, Dump my ashes in the ocean, bake my ashes in a cake When I'm dead Bury me next to my true love, Bury me under the plum tree, see what difference it makes Half will raise there glasses with a smile And half will shake their disapproving heads And there'll be laughing, there'll be screaming, There'll be hoping, there'll be scheming, But there won't be any crying when I'm dead No no no, don't mourn for me, bumblebee I'm just a vibrating string Don't you know vibrations always fade away But sometimes the echoes linger for a little while And that's all I can hope for That's all anyone can hope for That's all I can hope for when I'm dead And half of them will toast my memory And half will heap some curses on my head And there'll be laughing, there'll be screaming, There'll be talking, there'll be dreaming, But there won't be any crying when I'm dead No I won't take no crying when I'm dead So if I catch you crying when I'm dead

credits

released May 1, 2007

Guitar on "You, Me, And Her" - Jeff Yoder
Trumpet on "Nixon" - Dave Sycks
Cello on "The Interurban" - Wendy Chappell-Dyck

Cover photograph by Edward Van Altena, public domain

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