When I read your letter to the editor
I could feel my blood boil and my stomach churn.
I had heard there were people out there like you but I never knew for sure
Until I read your letter to the editor
When I met you in person I was rather impressed
You were so well-spoken, you were so well-dressed
And what was lurking underneath, I never would have guessed
Except I read your letter to the editor.
You should be in a movie, I could sing this song.
They would think you're the good guy, but not for long.
Because there's a twist in the end, and all of their theories were wrong.
You should be in a movie, I could sing this song.
You could have your own talk show, I'd call in every day.
We'd be two people screaming with nothing to say,
And we would not change anything but that would be okay.
You should have your own talk show; I think you'd be great.
You should move to Jamaica, you should meet a girl,
You should procure some explosives, you should conquer the world,
You should march across the ocean with your banner unfurled.
You should move to Jamaica, you should conquer the world.
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